He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
