i think i have herpe
just one?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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