my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You may now shotgun with the bride
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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