Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I AM VODKA MAN
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
