Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
