her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
