I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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