she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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