these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
