I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Holy sore nipples Batman
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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