She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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