i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
