He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
