My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
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It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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