I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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