Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
