Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
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I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
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he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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