i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
