you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
