we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
