I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
