After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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