Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
