My friends, they love my intelligence
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I wish they made helmets for livers.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
