Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
dude. I can hear the air.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
