Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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