To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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