Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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