If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
