Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
