oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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