bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
