Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
