This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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