Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
