they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
