Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
