Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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