Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
