i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
