I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
