I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
