I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
