don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
