this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he was CRYING into my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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