Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me