WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?