My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again