The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.