just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
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Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
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Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?