i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.