you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?