I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
soo... how was my night?
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