I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
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begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize