my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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