it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
