ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
