My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Randomize
