hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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