Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
