The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
