How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
