dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize