She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
