Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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