Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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