just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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