You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize