Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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