it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
