ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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