And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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