if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize