yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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