I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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