omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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